While there are many tempting deals offered by WestwoodRentals and their competitors, landlords are still looking for new ways to improve the already-affordable and “non-pitiful living conditions” in the Westwood area.
Keith Wells, an associate at WestwoodRentals, said his mission is to serve college students who are struggling to pay for tuition and other expenses. “We have new plans to charge $4500 a month for a ‘2 Bed, No Bath’ apartment-like space. We are pleased to now offer a bedpan for tenants to use in lieu of a restroom”. He said right before laughing like a James Bond villain.
Several landlords have gone on record saying they are looking to provide the best housing to students simply looking for a comfortable living space. “A complex on Ophir just started offering affordable apartments that are actually bigger than the average human body” said sophomore Ellen Porter. “These spaces can be leased today for only $5000. No parking spaces”, she said as she set fire to a mailbox.
Reception from students has been extremely positive. Jacob Meridian noted, “My friend at Washington State is renting a house with his own bedroom and he only pays $600 a month. Who would think that for the same price, I could live in the parking lot behind Fat Sals?”
The deals continue to grow as we enter 2017. “For an extra $40 a month, one of our landlords can kick you in the shins before you go to class”, said Wells, right before throwing some pebbles at a homeless man.