These days, everyone’s looking for their 15 minutes of fame, and everyone knows there’s only one show that will rocket you to the top: The Ellen DeGeneres Show. With the Internet and help from our benevolent Ellen, that’s now easier than ever. Read below for our tips on the best ways to make it big on The Ellen DeGeneres Show!
- Be White and Mediocre
All you have to do is create some annoying Vine that spreads like cancer on Facebook! Or maybe steal a popular dance move from Black people. If you can do that then daaaaaaamn, Daniel, Harlem Shake your way down to the studio!
Difficulty Level: 2/5
- Be Gay, But Not Too Gay
Ellen has always been a champion of LGBT rights, especially to kids who are still palatable to Middle America. Are you a cute, non-threatening, straight dude who took his gay male best friend to prom? Saddle up, boys! Welcome to The Ellen DeGeneres Show!
Difficulty Level: 3/5
- Be a Child
This is almost a surefire way to get on the show, but it’s difficult to pull off if you’re over the age of 7. If you’re an exceptionally cute toddler who knows an adorable pop and lock routine, can impersonate an opera singer, or has basic motor skills, then it won’t be difficult to make your way on to The Ellen DeGeneres Show. If you’re the crazy stage parent that pushed them there, be sure to try your best to get in your little snowflake’s shot.
Difficulty Level: 1/5 for children, 4/5 for desperate adults.
- Accomplish Something Noteworthy
This might as well be impossible, but good luck! If you’re already famous or maybe invented something culturally important, like the iPod or the Roomba, you probably don’t even need the exposure. But what higher honor is there than to grace Ellen’s daytime talk show at 4 pm in the afternoon? That’s when you know you’ve made it!
- Kidnap Ellen DeGeneres
Make it so they CAN’T say no! If you hold Ellen DeGeneres hostage, there is no show. Especially if you’ve been trying for years and years to get on the show. Finally, this is your time to shine. Do you HEAR me, Ellen? I’m coming for you!
Difficulty: 1/5, I’m already inside her house. Wish me luck!