Emojis For Our New World Order

Emojis are fun ways to communicate your most common thoughts! A tiny salsa dancer says “Let’s have a girls night out!” Now that your most frequent thoughts are changing because of the current political climate, Emoji has released an update! Checkout our preview of Emoji’s new update:

Look at this little screaming yellow circle man next to a shaking map of Mexico! It’s a super cute way to say, “There were massive earthquakes in Mexico and I fear the same thing could happen here!”


Another one of our favorites was the new birth control emoji, surrounded by giant cartoon money bags. It’s a quick way to shoot your squad a text saying: “More low income women just lost access to birth control.”


The new update has FINALLY given us a new emoji for deciding what movie to go to. This little star-eyed man with big touchy hads is a super efficient way to let your girlies know that they should see a different movie because the star/producer/director of the movie you guys were going to see tonight just got accused of sexual assault. Twenty-seven different times.


For the summer months, the little flooded city emoji is an easier way to text “There’s just been another devastating hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico”!

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Finally, there’s a twist on the classic yellow sad face emoji! This new one is your traditional sad-face emoji, but now it’s in front of a clock and holding a gun. It’s the perfect emoji to deflect debate about gun regulations, but in a cute and quick way after the next inevitable national gun violence tragedy!

Emoji also gave the Satyr staff an exclusive sneak peek at their 2018 update!

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Our favorite was this “I fear Robot Jared Kushner” emoji.

Art by Cornellius Robbins

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