A Civil Discussion on the UCLA-USC Game

By now you obviously know we won the big game today. We don’t need to come out and say something like “FUCK SC” and we definitely don’t need to say something as vulgar as “maybe USC will finally get that UCLA actually runs this fucking town.” Nor do we need to illustrate a crude drawing of a bear ripping open a trojan.

That’s below us.

We at Satyr hold ourselves to a higher standard. We’re not going to resort to a Buzzfeed style list of “5 Things That Only UCLA Students Who Won A Game Against USC By 18 Points Will Understand.” A list like this:

1. The satisfaction of watching every person wearing red walk out of the Rose Bowl, epitomizing the very meaning of shame and dissapointment

2. Recognizing that your team won by more points than there are letters in the crudely spray-painted “SC Runs LA”

3. Realizing that the enourmous amount of booze you’re about to drink in celebration is the same amount of booze that USC students will have to put back in the pantry tonight, a symbol of what could have been

4. Knowing that Jim Mora was correct in his assessment that “we don’t need a friggin’ fire to get fucking turnt up”

5. Being able to sleep well, knowing that the Victory Bell will be kept in a safe neighborhood.

Those would all be extremely insensitve and way too easy of a target, like USC’s defense.

We already won, and what does that even mean? Sure, it means we get to walk around with our heads held high. And yeah, it definitely means we get to continue bragging for another full year. But whatever, it’s just a game. A game that everyone talks about and waits for. And sure, people will talk about it for weeks, hell, maybe even months. But mentioning all that now would just be rude.

All we’ll say is that it was a good game, and we look forward to destroying playing USC again next year.

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