Adele Rips Baby in Half to Share with Her Husband

HOLLYWOOD, CA — It seems like Adele can do it all. Not only did she take home 5 Grammy Awards this past Sunday, but she also heroically split a Grammy in half to share the win with Beyoncé, who was also slated to win in the same categories. The British singer has been given much praise online for her generosity and humility, including much gratitude from Beyoncé herself. Today it seems like her humble spirit lives on because early this morning, Adele ripped her baby son clean in half.

Adele reportedly gave the lower half of the baby to her husband, Simon Koneki. She told media sources, “though I worked on this child for 9 months, we both deserved this baby. It is a win for the two of us”. Koneki was reportedly in tears when he was given the lower portion of his son, mostly because of the thoughtfulness of his wife, but he also cried because of the copious amounts of blood that come from a freshly ripped child.

The online praise has been through the roof since Adele’s latest act of dismemberment. Babies across America have been ripped in half by parents in an effort to spread more kindness. As of now, the baby’s health condition is not known, as most sources are focused on the singer’s generosity.

It is reported Adele had no trouble ripping the child in half, just like how it was easy to rip apart the dense metal of a Grammy award.

 

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