Author Archives: Emily Orlich

Republican Experiences Brief Moment of Empathy

Los Angeles, CA–In an unprecedented and shocking turn of events, local republican Joshua Gibson experienced something right wing Americans rarely do: empathy. The Daily Ruin reached out to Gibson. He had this to say on the subject: “I was walking…

White House Requests Screening Of 1996 Film ‘Kazaam’

Washington, DC– On Wednesday it was reported that the White House requested a personal screening of the 1996 film Kazaam. The children’s comedy stars Shaquille O’Neil as Kazaam, a five thousand year old genie discovered in a boombox who grants…

ALF Accused Of Sexual Misconduct

  Los Angeles, CA– In wake of the recent allegations of sexual assault against celebrities and public figures, new statements have been made accusing the late 80’s sitcom star ALF of sexual misconduct. The breakout star rose to fame instantly…