Author Archives: Garrett Falke

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Mike Pence Only Has Sex In The Missionary Position

Foreword:  I write erotic fan fiction dedicated to humanizing the lives of conservative, constitution-defending heroes. SNL, The Daily Show, AOL News, and other liberal outlets attempt to brainwash the public into perceiving Republican icons as dim-witted and boring, mundanely going…

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How to Deal with Your Liberal Nephews and Nieces this Thanksgiving

Are you a down-to-earth, constitutional, Christian (specifically Protestant), morally pure conservative male who happens to also be an uncle? Are you dreading this upcoming Thanksgiving when your liberal-zombie nephews and nieces will be returning from UC Berkeley to terrorize you…