Author Archives: Zane Kaufmann

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New UCLA Frat Discovered to Be Offshoot of Local Cult

WESTWOOD — UCLA recently added a new frat to the row, the little known Delta Iota Epsilon. This addition initially brought excitement to the student population, but that excitement may not continue, as Delta Iota Epsilon has recently been exposed…

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Whitesboro’s New Flag

After some criticism that its old flag was offensive, the Whitesboro community has been hard at work design this new flag, sponsored by TGI Fridays.

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JETZO

  Check out JETZO. They are a clowning based improv group with drop in classes at the improv space once a month. *This is not recommended for those with a fear of clowns, improv or two men pretending to be from…

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Hillary Clinton to Change Name to Martin Luther King, Jr. Jr.

WASHINGTON, D.C.– In an effort to maintain her popularity with Black voters, Clinton has decided to move forward with legally changing her name to Martin Luther King, Jr. Jr. “She’s been worried about Senator Sanders’ outreach to the Black community,”…

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Christmas Trees Demand Trial Before Execution

THE WOODS — For years, Christmas trees have been brutally cut down without any chance to defend themselves or plead their case, but finally the laws have changed. Evergreen Pine v. Montana is the biggest movement for plant rights since…