College Students Going Home For Summer Just Excited to See Who Got Fat

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College Campuses Everywhere–  It’s that exciting time of year when students are heading home (at least, all of the ones not going to a school on the quarter system). Everyone is just SO eager about it.

Tim McCarthy, UCLA Residential Life Director, explained this yearly occurrence to the Daily Ruin. “Weeks before they go home, students across the country all start talking about it, creating a buzzing campus environment. Our yearly survey research shows us that students are excited to go home, and it’s not because they want to sleep in their own bed or want home-cooked food or miss their dog. It’s because they get to see which of their high school peers got fat this school year.”

The Daily Ruin caught up with several students to understand this widespread trend and excitement.

“I just know that there are people who were skinny in high school who gained weight this year” said first-year Chad Price. “I think about the moment that I’ll run into one of them at Costco as I increase my treadmill speed for that last mile.” He explained that he was a little chubby in high school, but worked it off. “I know these people never worked out and still don’t. Nothing tastes as good as their slowing metabolism.”

Stephanie Lopez had a similar experience on the occasions that she’s gone to Target. She added, “When I see them, I immediately just need to know their new BMI. Usually I don’t even remember their names. And then when you actually notice each other and start to have a conversation? That’s when you have to work really hard to hold eye contact instead of trying to see if there’s anything particularly new and jiggly around the hips.”

For other students, the most exciting moment is the first look at their peers that they get after a whole year of school. “Oh yeah it’s addictive” added third-year Joe Anderson. “There’s always this anticipation that slowly builds up on my drive over to the local Starbucks. You’re not sure if you’re going to see someone you know or not. If I’ve learned anything from previous summers that I’ve been home from college, it’s that you’ve always gotta be ready. In high school, I wore sweats for my morning coffee runs, but now I can’t wear any elastic waistbands anywhere or else I’ll look like I’m trying to hide something.”

Not going home this summer is Lillian Davis, who will be flying directly from school to her summer internship in Chicago. When asked if she felt like she was missing out, she responded, “oh yeah, I’m sad. Those moments are the best parts of summer, for sure. But I planned ahead. Why else do you think we stay friends on Facebook?”

 

Written by Sarita Lee

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