CURRENT RESIDENCY: In search of a new best friend who won’t ditch him for his stupid bun-head girlfriend.
PROS: Gives excellent hugs, is a faithful (if startling) alarm clock.
CONS: Once Chewy moves in, your hair-free days are over. Your soap bar will turn into a furball before you can say “wookie.”
SPECIES: Standard creepy guy/Who the hell knows?
CURRENT RESIDENCY: In search of both a master who will tolerate his mood swings and a proper grammar tutor (broken 3rd person is not exactly a lady-pleaser).
PROS: Is a low-maintenance guy, adventurous eater, and skilled hiker.
CONS: Has been known to viciously hoard FunYuns, donuts, SpaghettiOs, and Fruit Loops. Personal hygiene is not really his thing. Also, his voice will haunt your dreams. Just saying.
NAME: Walter White
SPECIES: Human/Criminal Mastermind/Bacon Art Enthusiast
CURRENT RESIDENCY: In search of a fresh audience for his diabolical fibs.
PROS: Is a fantastic chem tutor and jumpsuit model. He’ll always knock.
CONS: Wardrobe is a tad dumpy. Doesn’t understand the value of a perfectly good pizza. Wears khaki a lot. Is a wanted murderer and meth cook.