Floormates From First Year Make Awkward Eye Contact

Westwood, CA — Justin Jones was walking up Bruinwalk, listening to the Spotify top 10 list at a slightly deafening volume so as to drown out the various students flyering, creepy old men, and singular crazy born again Christian. Despite the muffled declaratives of “You’re a DJ!” and questions of “Want to end Pediatric Aids?” Jones could not ignore the gaze of Katie Kim.

According to onlookers, the two first locked eyes at approximately 10 feet away. They maintained contact until they passed one another, as the two were walking in opposite directions.

Marilyn Thomas, who was flyering on Bruin Walk, told the Daily Ruin that the eye contact was “uncomfortable for everyone” and advised us to “take the bike-path up the side of Bruin Walk to avoid running into people you’ve slept with— erm— don’t know well.”

Jones reported this harrowing incident to the Daily Ruin. “We locked eyes on Bruin Walk and I didn’t know what to do so I just grimaced.”

We asked Jones why he didn’t look away or smile, to which he replied, “I had to assert my dominance. Looking away goes against everything that I’ve been taught as a white man.”

“She lived on my floor freshman year and we spoke in the lounge once. I was waiting for my pals and she was studying… on a Wednesday! It’s like she didn’t know Wine Wednesdays were a thing.”

We asked Jones why he locked eyes with this vague acquaintance, to which he defensively replied, “I don’t know dude— she must be into me. I mean, why else would she look at me?”

We reached out to Kim for a response. She reportedly has “no idea who this Justin is” and was trying to wave to her friend who was behind him on Bruinwalk.

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