Freshman Razor Scooter Enthusiast Excited To Learn That Scooters Are Still A Thing In College


After almost two decades of social, romantic, and filial rejection, Chris Carroll finally finds solace in the “hip scooting culture” at UCLA.

LOS ANGELES—First year student and Razor scooter enthusiast Chris Carroll admitted to feeling excited about “scooting” without being openly judged by his peers. The fad, having died down in the early 2000s, has recently been revived by many UCLA students in search for a more efficient means of getting across campus.

“It was hard being around so many straight-edges back in high school, that’s for sure,” said 18-year-old Carroll. “You really feel out of place, like nobody in the world understands you.”

Carroll endured much criticism in high school for his unique choice for transportation. Many members of his graduating class reportedly wondered, “Why doesn’t he just get a skateboard?” and actively tried forcing him to walk, tossing his scooter into trash bins on multiple occasions.

“He used to ride that fucking thing to class every day, even if his last class was in the same building,” noted former classmate Jenna Tan. “I’ve seen him bruise a few people’s ankles trying to do that spinny trick thing, too. I mean seriously, what is he, like, eight?”

Carroll says that he’s comforted that many students at UCLA use scooters to travel across campus, hoping to meet more like-minded individuals in the future.

“Yeah, it’d be cool to find a crew to roll with—that’d be the bomb,” said Carroll, wearing a graphic tee featuring a Green Day logo, a pop-punk band that was popular during his childhood. “We could get together, shoot some videos, maybe do some sweet grinds down the Janss Steps. If I get a sponsor, like Vans or something, I could even go pro.”

When asked for a statement regarding future plans to sponsor freestyle scooter riders, Vans declined to comment. ♦

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