George, George, and Jeb: A Bush Dialogue

The Bush family house is abuzz with the anticipation that Jeb Bush will probably be running for president. Jeb and George Sr. sit at the breakfast nook looking at some preliminary research and strategizing. George Sr. laughs confidently, clearly impressed with his son. George W. Bush’s presence is conspicuously absent. The room falls silent as they hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

George W.: What’s going on guys?

George Sr.: Nothing buddy.

(The 43rd president looks disappointed.)

George W.: Really? I heard laughing. You guys weren’t talking about the campaign without me were you?

Jeb: We were just going over some early numbers. Nothing you need to worry about.

George W.: Aww. Let me help.

(George Sr. turns the papers over so W. can’t see them.)

George Sr.: We really have it under control.

George W.: Can I make you cookies then?

(Jeb looks sympathetically at his younger brother.)

Jeb: Sure buddy.

(Forty-five minutes later George W. comes in with a tray of cookies that are somehow both soupy and burnt and slams them down on the table a little too hard by accident.)

George W.: Here I made for you, them. They are mint flavor.

(Jeb and George Sr. pause.)

George W.: Go ahead. Eat them.

(George and Jeb both cautiously take a bite. The pain in their eyes is evident once the cookies enter their mouths. An uncomfortably silent moment envelops the three.)

George Sr.: (trying to conceal his oral discomfort) What’s in these buddy?

George W.: Mouthwash. We were out of milk.

(Jeb and George Sr. both quickly put the cookies down.)

Jeb: (feigning disappointment) They’re so good, but we’re full.

George W.: Bummer.

(George W. looks down at the floor as he leaves the room. Jeb and George Sr. return to looking over the reports, but are interrupted again by W.)

George W.: (excitedly holding up a wet painting of a small dog) I made you a logo for your campaign, brother.

Jeb: Wow. That’s so good. I’ll give that to my campaign manager right away.

(George W., clearly overcome with joy, puts the wet painting face down on the table. Jeb and George Sr. roll their eyes at each other.)

George Sr.: (gently guiding W. towards the back door) Hey, I have an idea Georgie. We just got a new croquet set. Why don’t you go play with that? Solo croquet is a great time.

(George Sr. locks the door and then quickly looks excitedly back at Jeb who gives him a nod of approval. As they begin to review the research again, W. looks in at them through the window with one slightly crossed eye. George Sr. looks at his son through the window.)

George Sr.: He won twice. You’ll be fine.

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