Group Already Forming to Impeach Next President

SATYR-impeach-next-presidentNASHUA, NH–In light of recent election polls showing who the potential candidates for the next US President will be, a group of true American patriots have formed in the swing state of New Hampshire vowing to impeach whoever is elected.

Not typically known for their radical beliefs, these New Hampshire natives are done being hounded every four years by presidential nominees for their votes, and this time they’re fighting back.

When asked who they would ideally like to have seated in the executive branch, the group’s founder offered no comment, but mentioned that none of the current possibilities hold much promise and that instead of boycotting the elections, they would be spending their time working to have the next president’s impeachment trials begin immediately after inauguration. They don’t seem to care if the President elect is on the left or the right, their goal is simply to have him or her impeached by 2017.

It is unclear what the motivation is behind their actions, but they have picked up supporters across the country who hold similar ideals. They have expanded and gained members in all 50 states who support the cause for a variety of reasons, including: ideals of anarchy, dismay at the current options for president, wanting just 4 more years!, and holding onto hope that Richard Nixon’s cryogenically frozen body will be thawed and the last truly great American President will be able to take office once again.

The group has started raising money to fund their advertising campaign, and they have been selling merchandise on their website with products like, “Not Ready for Hillary: One Clinton was too many” baseball hats and the classic throwback, “More trees, less Bush” bumper stickers.

The group is ready for any possible election outcome with its  “Make America Great Again, Tell Trump: You’re Fired!” coffee mugs, “Tell the West to take back Kanye” T-shirts, and “Four Years at Bernie’s is too long: Impeach Sanders” pins and badges.♦

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