Hoverboarders Have Hovered South For The Winter


WESTWOOD, CA – UCLA has recently experienced a drastic decline in its native Hoverboarder population (scientific classification: Hovundus Boradus) beginning in the later end of Fall Quarter. Biologist have just discovered that hundreds of Hoverboarders have hovered South for the Winter Quarter.

Researchers have concluded that the supply of Air Jordans and Beats by Dre are less abundant in the winter following the holiday season, which causes Hoverboarders to migrate in search of these resources essential to their survival. Herds have been spotted recently at UCSD, scavenging for any resources, as well as taking time to mate. These herds are suspected to have migrated from UCLA.  Experts hypothesize the majestic species will return once the weather is warmer and Hoverboarders can drape headphones over their neck without listening to anything.

Student populations have increased on BruinWalk as a result of the migration. They no longer have to accommodate for the wheeled-species by constantly dodging eclectic hover patterns. Nonetheless, photographers and nature-enthusiasts are looking forward to the grand return of this unique species.

Hoverboarder populations have been slowly declining since the population boom in early 2016. To help the cause, donate to the AHPF (American Hoverboarder Preservation Fund) and call



Art by Hannah Burnett

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