An Open Letter to “I Agree with Trevor”‘s Marketing Team

Well, we certainly can't say we disagree.

Well, we certainly can’t say we disagree.

Whoa—you guys are good. Like, seriously. Really good. I don’t know if I’m legally allowed to speak for everyone at Satyr, but I’m going to anyway: As another small, honest, homegrown, grassroots, barnyard organization, we are just completely in awe of your talent. 

First, how in God’s name did you convince so many people to wear the color orange? And not just an orange accessory—an actual goddamn t-shirt in all of its god-awful, neon-pumpkin glory! Not to mention your impeccable coordination skills. So. Much. Orange. Everywhere. What are UCLA’s colors again? Orange and white? Just orange? Orange on orange? 

But let’s get to the real question: Who the hell is this guy? Does anybody even have a clue who Trevor is? And why are we agreeing with him? Is it like that one time with the guy and the Kool-Aid? 

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This seems exactly like that one time with the guy and the Kool-Aid.

I’d almost go so far as to guess he’s one of those 70% charismatic, 20% narcissistic, 10% too-hot-for-their-own-good false prophets—you know the type, right?—but we know the fellowships of UCLA would never allow that kind of wickedness on our campuses, so…Oh, dear Lord, you’re providing dessert, too? Does your insight into our souls know no bounds? As if we weren’t already lining up at Broad 2160E with Sharpies so Trevor can sign our limited edition “I Agree with Trevor”-enough-to-wear-this-ugly-orange-shirt t-shirts. 

Jesus Christ, this truly is a marketing masterpiece. Speaking of which, how much do you guys charge per hour? Would you consider taking a pro bono case? Let’s meet up at our place; we have a very special relationship with our landlord. 

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