Meninists Petition to Stop Burning Man

LOS ANGELES— Arguing that Burning Man is a malicious act of misandry, local men’s rights activists have petitioned to stop the festival from taking place.

These activists, who refer to themselves as meninists, call the festival a blatant display of man-hating embodied in the modern feminist movement.

“It’s absolutely unfair,” meninist Dave Murray said. “When will you ever see people gathering around to burn a woman? I mean, besides Ancient Egypt when they burned women alive for committing adultery, and in 14th century England when they burned women at the stake for treason, and the whole thing with Joan of Arc, also the Salem Witch Trials, but when else? When? You just don’t see it.”

Murray and his fellow meninists have gathered over 400 signatures so far, mostly from single men still living with their parents. They hope to gain enough momentum to prevent the festival from occurring if not this year, then the next year.

“We’re under a pretty tight timeline,” meninist leader John Toole said. “The festival is approaching soon, but it’s a great time to be a meninist. Most of the Oscar nominees were men, almost all of the members of Congress are men, and a large number of today’s CEOs are men. I like to think we had a hand in making that possible.”

If you would like to join the Los Angeles chapter of Southern California United Meninists, SCUM meetings are held at 9:00 p.m. every Thursday at the Outback Steakhouse in Glendale.♦

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