Mom, That’s Racist!

Think your parents’ advice is inherently racist? Think again! (Answers are at the bottom of this list.)


  1. Hide your jewelry when they’re here. They like shiny things.
  2. It won’t be long before they all cross the border.
  3. They are very good at blending in with their surroundings. And if you’re not looking, they will attack.
  4. They always have so much ash on them.
  5. I don’t understand why they’re so popular now! It seems like everyone has one in their house doing all their work for them.
  6. Of course they’re not going to get through airport security. All that hair…
  7. Their face is so flat. No roundness at all.
  8. I tried to tell her, “If you rub them the wrong way they will cut you. And they’re scarier in the dark.”
  9. Their thighs are so glaringly white, all I want to do is put them in an oven and roast them.
  10. They see one officer of the law and they run up the nearest tree.



  1. Kids
  2. Killer bees
  3. Sharks
  4. Fireplaces
  5. iPads
  6. Monkeys
  7. Flatscreen television
  8. Venus fly traps
  9. Turkeys
  10. Cats
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