Newly Discovered Planets Ask Humans to Leave Them Alone

WASHINGTON DC – On Wednesday, February 22, NASA announced that it had discovered three possibly habitable earth-sized planets in the TRAPPIST-1 system, igniting the scientific community and the world. Life existing on other planets has always been in question, however, upon closer inspection of the exoplanets in the days since discovery, NASA now says that we may not have to wait to find out.

The Spitzer Space Telescope has captured new hi-resolution images of the surface of the planets, and there appears to be evidence of a message from inhabitants of the newly-found planets. The image shows multiple wooden, almost cartoon-esque signs littered across each planet that read, “No thank you, go away,” “We don’t want any,” and, “Can’t you read the sign, buddy? Leave us alone,” are a few of the signs scattered on the surfaces. Experts theorize these messages have been left so that Earthlings do not inflict the folly of man onto these innocent aliens. They would like their wildlife unharmed and their naturally-occurring fuel sources to be left in the ground.

In our endeavor to reach the TRAPPIST-1 system, which could very well not happen for a few lifetimes, NASA has announced its efforts to get the planets to warm up to colonization, with the initiative to smile when we get to their home, ask about their family life, and then after we gain their trust, work into the conversation that we plan to colonize them.
EDIT: NASA made a claim that the signs were meant for someone else, until one was seen that read “We mean you, Humans on Earth. We have telescopes too and we don’t like what you’re cooking up over there. Good luck fixing what you did to yourself.”

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