Which Plant Would You Jack Off To?

Here are some sexy eligible side plants, for all you single or polyamorous fellows out there. If you are the cuffing type, however, here are some house plants. These plants are so sexy they would make you want to water them with your seed.

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Coryphantha- A cactus with a big pink throbbing flower. You just wanna lick it. Be careful, you don’t want to get a rash from rubbing your chin against those pricks.

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Dionaea muscipula- Venus flytrap? More like penis flytrap. These freaks of nature are perfect if you’re into BDSM. They will definitely use teeth and leave scratches all over you.

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Crassulaceae- Don’t let their hard surface scare you. With a slap here or there you can bust these babies open. Apply gentle pressure to stop their juices from flowing; if you do it right they might suck you off.

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Pinus thunbergii- Big things happen in small packages. This mini tree has a giant morning wood. It is hard and ready for you anytime.

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Dendrobium- This beautiful orchid is quite bossy and demanding. To make sure she’s pleased aim right below the stamen to cross pollinate.

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