QUIZ: Is Bruin Republicans Right for you?


Wondering if Bruin Republicans is the right fit for you? Take this quiz below and find out! 

1 — How would you describe yourself?

A) White.

B) Criminal.

2 — What is your religious affiliation?

A) Christian.

B) Something else inherently violent.

3 — What is your sexual orientation?

A) Heterosexual.

B) Something that God hates.

4 — Are you an American citizen?

A) Absolutely.

B) No, I’m just a murderer.

5 — Do you believe in big government?

A) No, small government is essential to ensuring American liberty and prosperity.

B) Yes, I prefer receiving bread and freedom in government-issued rations.

6 — Do you support unfiltered free speech?

A) Of course, I’m a proper patriot.

B) Sticks and stones may break my bones, but most words will definitely shatter my sternum.

7 — Do you support the Affordable Care Act?

A) No, it is infeasible and impractical.

B) Definitely, I’m too busy begging for meals to beg for my annual flu shot.

8 — Do you support the decriminalization of marijuana?

A) No, marijuana is destructive.

B) Yes, I hope the utter destruction of my soul and earthly motivation will be within the confines of the law.

9 — Do you believe in the Second Amendment?

A) 100%, it is my constitutional right.

B) Never, my preferred weapon of choice is my searing Twitter feed.

10 — Do you support restrictions on abortion?

A) Completely, abortion is immoral.

B) No, the only thing I love more than hell is a dead baby.

Satyr’s Results:

If you answered mostly “A” to our questions, join Bruin Republicans—UCLA’s sole conservative voice that specializes in freedom, tastefully racist posters, and the occasional misguided apology letter—or get some better opinions.

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