Controversy has surrounded the Daily Bruin after a certain opinionated submission was published. The article, which suggested a slight redirection of the Afrikan Student Union’s efforts, included paragraphs of insightful statistics and unequivocal truths which absolutely justified everything that was written throughout the span of the entire article. Despite the article’s sound logic, students have reacted in an absolutely outlandish and ignorant manner. What I think bothers me the most, however, is the fact that if any other student had written an article as profound and insightful there would, absolutely (a word I’ve used in almost every sentence of this paragraph) not be this much uproar about it. It is simply not fair to criticize an author just because she/he holds an “unpopular” opinion. I’m writing this to defend the minority opinion.
Let me start out with the paragraph regarding Armenian-ness. Plump lips and big butts have absolutely no connection with black stereotypes in any way whatsoever. They do, however, connect with Kim Kardashian– the universal symbol of Armenia. And guys, come on, she does have, as Sir Mix-A-Lot would say, a “motor in the back of her Honda”. So no harm, no foul. Same goes for Kanye. He has been known to wear some “pretty bold outfits” that include pink polos and mining attire. Those outfits don’t target the entire African American population. They specifically target mid-nineteenth century San Franciscan gold mining culture. I don’t know about you, but the only black I’ve ever seen on a miner is that on the faces of coal miners. But, I mean, I suppose I concede this point because pretty much all miners look the same.
To the people who felt “triggered” by this article, I only have eight words for you: GTFO, you bunch of Marxists. The truth is that no one is racist anymore because, newsflash, time has passed! No one has a real reason to discriminate against black people anymore because, as we were shown in the article, the black people are doing that to themselves now. So let me ask you this, why would non-black people discriminate against black people if someone else is doing it for them? Logic, people!* Furthermore, instances of white-on-black crime and racism are rare.** Now, while I’m not quite clear on the first couple hundred years of American history, but recently America has been killin’ it in terms of race relations.***
In the next several paragraphs, the author takes us on a journey of black-on-black crime statistics. And to be honest, I’m not entirely sure why she does this. But such is the case when higher life forms must communicate with the low race of man. Oftentimes we just simply cannot comprehend them. This is why God revealed himself as a burning bush to Moses. And then 4000 years later, revealed himself to UCLA as a first year.
The original author is a first-year and a genius.
*no actual logic was implemented
**as long as you ignore it
***actually, the race situation has gotten pretty bad but I didn’t want this article to be sad :(