Tag: 2016 election

SATYR - Oscar Mix Up

Hillary Clinton Filled With New Hope After Oscars Mix-Up

HOLLYWOOD – Tonight, La La Land was announced the winner of the Oscar for best picture. It was however, not the winner for best picture. Halfway through LaLa Land’s acceptance speech, it was announced that Moonlight had actually won the…

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Man Confuses Sbarro Line for Trump Protest

Upon hearing the disappointing news of the election, Julian Friedl, a freshman at Santa Monica Community College, was extremely eager to take to the streets and voice his frustrations amongst other protesters. Last Saturday, he traveled to what he called…

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My Time at a Protester Camp Out

Last Tuesday I was walking through Downtown Los Angeles when I happened upon a large group of haggard individuals living out of tents, cardboard boxes, and sleeping bags. I approached the group and noticed a stench of what at first…

satyr-snacks

5 Yummy Snacks in Trump’s America

Welp, seeing as things have turned out the way they have, we at Satyr want to offer some healthy, easily acquirable alternatives to food that you can survive on in the coming end of times: Old Cigarette Butts: These things…

trump-vs-clinton

Inside the Empty Minds of Undecided Voters

As we draw closer to Election Day this November, the rift between Trump and Clinton continues to grow more and more divisive. Yet, despite these vast differences, over 19 million voters remain undecided. To better understand the mindset of these…

Logo-GOP

Wanted:Republican Latino Voters

The following is a craigslist ad posted by the Republican Party’s Casting Director. Wanted: Latino Voters Looking for hardworking Latinos who are seeking the Reagan Dream and are willing to support whichever straight white male is chosen as the GOP…

SATYR- Larry David

Checked Out Voter Thinks Larry David is Running

NEVADA – Nevada resident Kent Bradley was confused and taken aback this past Saturday after attempting to vote for Larry David in the Nevada Democratic Caucus only to find the two options on the ballot were Hillary Clinton and Bernie…

SATYR-Scalia

Scalia Reunited With Father, the Devil

WASHINGTON D.C. — Justice Antonin Scalia was found dead at a resort Saturday. Although many Americans rejoiced upon hearing this news, no one was more excited than Scalia’s father, the devil. “Now that Antonin is back in Hell, the place…

SATYR-impeach-next-president

Group Already Forming to Impeach Next President

NASHUA, NH–In light of recent election polls showing who the potential candidates for the next US President will be, a group of true American patriots have formed in the swing state of New Hampshire vowing to impeach whoever is elected. Not…