Tag: bernie sanders

satyr-snacks

5 Yummy Snacks in Trump’s America

Welp, seeing as things have turned out the way they have, we at Satyr want to offer some healthy, easily acquirable alternatives to food that you can survive on in the coming end of times: Old Cigarette Butts: These things…

SATYR- Capitalism

Urban Outfitters Releases New “Fuck Capitalism” Line

PHILADELPHIA – Urban Outfitters has recently released a “Fuck Capitalism ” collection to more accurately cater to their demographic of “18-24-year-old binge drinkers whose parents have money.” Since Bernie has been gaining so much momentum among America’s hippest youth, socialism…

SATYR- Super Tuesday -Slider

Super Tuesday: Bernie Supporters Mistake Tweeting for Voting

WASHINGTON D.C. — Despite the mass quantities of Bernie merch purchased on Etsy, the explosion of viral Bernie memes, and “cool young” celebrity endorsements, Sanders somehow managed to only carry four states. Some preliminary research into this quandary showed that…

SATYR- Larry David

Checked Out Voter Thinks Larry David is Running

NEVADA – Nevada resident Kent Bradley was confused and taken aback this past Saturday after attempting to vote for Larry David in the Nevada Democratic Caucus only to find the two options on the ballot were Hillary Clinton and Bernie…