Tag: election

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USAC President Named Honorary Member of Sig Ep

WESTWOOD – After a picture surfaced of USAC president Danny Siegel making a Blood gang sign, the fraternity Sigma Phi Epsilon has offered him an honorary membership. The fraternity, famed for hosting a tasteful “Kanye Western” party last year, sees…

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Everything On Fire

FIREY INFERNO, USA — Starting late last night around 11:00 P.M. PST, thousands of reports emerged across the nation that literally everything had suddenly burst into flames. All through the night, trees, buildings, and cars alike have all been officially…

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Hillary Clinton’s Emails Revealed to Be Deleted J-Crew Spam

**BREAKING NEWS** Hillary Clinton’s Deleted Emails Have Finally Been Revealed to be J.Crew Spam WASHINGTON D.C. — With the election just days away, another Congressional hearing was gathered to dig into presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s deleted private emails. The results…

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Jeb Bush Rushed to Hospital after Shooting Himself in Foot

MEREDITH, NH – On January 6, 2015, Governor Jeb Bush was scheduled to speak at the Church Landing in Meredith, New Hampshire. However, before he could take the stage of the “Governing Under the Influence Education Project,” Bush was rushed…

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Los Angeles Gentrifies General Election

LOS ANGELES— In an effort to increase voter turnout and continue erasing the history and culture of Los Angeles, voting locations across the county yesterday specifically catered to residents of gentrified neighborhoods. Each voting location put together their own agenda of…