Tag: family

Grandma Thinks Thanksgiving Unholy After Eating Seitan Turkey

BRENTWOOD, CA — After delivering a lengthy tirade on the Starbucks Corporation’s desecration of Christmas, Grandma Lynn nearly suffered a stroke when presented with a vegan Thanksgiving turkey. Sarah Moore, 26, was hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the very first time…

How to Deal with Your Liberal Nephews and Nieces this Thanksgiving

Are you a down-to-earth, constitutional, Christian (specifically Protestant), morally pure conservative male who happens to also be an uncle? Are you dreading this upcoming Thanksgiving when your liberal-zombie nephews and nieces will be returning from UC Berkeley to terrorize you…