Tag: hillary clinton

SATYR - Oscar Mix Up

Hillary Clinton Filled With New Hope After Oscars Mix-Up

HOLLYWOOD – Tonight, La La Land was announced the winner of the Oscar for best picture. It was however, not the winner for best picture. Halfway through LaLa Land’s acceptance speech, it was announced that Moonlight had actually won the…

SATYR- Super Tuesday -Slider

Super Tuesday: Bernie Supporters Mistake Tweeting for Voting

WASHINGTON D.C. — Despite the mass quantities of Bernie merch purchased on Etsy, the explosion of viral Bernie memes, and “cool young” celebrity endorsements, Sanders somehow managed to only carry four states. Some preliminary research into this quandary showed that…

SATYR- Larry David

Checked Out Voter Thinks Larry David is Running

NEVADA – Nevada resident Kent Bradley was confused and taken aback this past Saturday after attempting to vote for Larry David in the Nevada Democratic Caucus only to find the two options on the ballot were Hillary Clinton and Bernie…

hillary2

Hillary Clinton to Change Name to Martin Luther King, Jr. Jr.

WASHINGTON, D.C.– In an effort to maintain her popularity with Black voters, Clinton has decided to move forward with legally changing her name to Martin Luther King, Jr. Jr. “She’s been worried about Senator Sanders’ outreach to the Black community,”…

This is, for the record, Hillary Rodham Clinton, 67th Secretary of State, wife of President Bill Clinton, leading candidate in the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination, Yale graduate, and, among other things, in possession of a Wikipedia page solely dedicated to her plethora of awards and nominations.

UCLA Completely Forgets Hillary Clinton Is Super Famous

LOS ANGELES—In an unprecedented display of gross incompetence, UCLA’s Central Ticket Office admitted earlier today that it forgot Hillary Clinton is a famous politician and inspirational role model for 95% of the world’s population.   This explains why CTO employees…