Tag: love

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Do You Love Me?

Do you love me? -Yes -No   Really? -Yes -No   Are you sure? -Yes -No   What if I make this silly face? -Yes -No   Wow, you must really love me. Do you love me on a sad…

girlfriend

Study Shows That Girlfriend Is Probably Just Fine

SEATTLE — In a study published this Tuesday, researchers at the University of Washington revealed that your girlfriend is “probably just fine,” despite the fact that you missed her birthday party last Saturday. “Although you’ve been dating for nearly four…

tall-woman-right-format

Why There Ought to be a Cap on Women’s Height

Internet idol, Milo Yiannopoulos, recently brought up the great point of needing a cap on the amount of women in science and math. This got me thinking: what else should women be restricted on for the good of mankind? Women’s…

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Couple Makes Their Relationship Disneyland Official

ANAHEIM, CA — Yesterday, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, 133 couples posed for a picture in front of Sleeping Beauty’s Castle to make their relationship “Disneyland Official.” Ever since “Facebook Official” has been the silver standard in relationship authenticity,…

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A Profession of Love

When I first heard about her, I didn’t think I had a chance. There were so many potential options, but she was the one for me. I worked hard to be near her and tried my best to do things…

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A Guide to the Perfect Date

Illustration by Marcie LaCerte appy Valentine’s Day! Now, since you are smart enough to be enjoying our magazine, I’m sure that you already have a great plan for tonight. But let’s say that maybe—just maybe—you forgot to get a reservation…

breakfast in bed

Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts!

Breakfast-in-bed. While most people both sleep in beds and eat breakfast within a similar time frame, they typically don’t synchronize these two tasks. Why? Because humans are stupid and broken. Lead your partner on the righteous path of utilitarianism and…

Online-Dating

Child Meets 43-Year-Old Love Of Life Online

FORT WORTH, TEXAS–In a whimsical flurry of self-discovery and answered prayers, eight-year-old Charles McLaine has finally found love in the hands of the unexpected. “I was just searching for so long,” said McLaine openly, “I didn’t even think it would…