Tag: party

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Experts Report Fun Part Of College Over Now

WESTWOOD, CA  — Popular perception of the American college experience as portrayed by the media is what experts describe as “fun” for “young people”. However, now that the first week or so of the new quarter has passed, researchers out…

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Friends Un-invite Group Member to Avoid Getting UberXL

WESTWOOD—Last Saturday, a group of five UCLA students set out for a night of drinks, headed to a bar in Venice. However, a problem arose when they realized they had five people in their party–one more than the amount permitted…

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Partygoer Arrives on Time, Forced to Help Set up

LOS ANGELES— First-year anthropology student Cristian Holton unwittingly found himself drafted onto the set-up crew for UCLA’s Model United Nations party after arriving on time. Holton said he arrived at the party at 8:30 p.m., the time the Facebook event…

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Man Takes Sip From Empty Cup, Exaggerates Gulp to Compensate

LOS ANGELES– Last Friday, infrequent partygoer and third-year comparative literature student Patrick Goldberger attended a party at the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity house, where he attempted to feign drinking from the same empty cup all night. Goldberger, who attended the…

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The “Drinking Game” Drinking Game

Beer Pong: You see a person airball and their teammate goes, “What was that, bro?” Beer Pong: Someone uses a bullshit house rule. Flip Cup: Some girl is failing to get her cup to land right. Everytime she messes up,…