Tag: president

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Mike Pence Only Has Sex In The Missionary Position

Foreword:  I write erotic fan fiction dedicated to humanizing the lives of conservative, constitution-defending heroes. SNL, The Daily Show, AOL News, and other liberal outlets attempt to brainwash the public into perceiving Republican icons as dim-witted and boring, mundanely going…

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Hillary Clinton Filled With New Hope After Oscars Mix-Up

HOLLYWOOD – Tonight, La La Land was announced the winner of the Oscar for best picture. It was however, not the winner for best picture. Halfway through LaLa Land’s acceptance speech, it was announced that Moonlight had actually won the…

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Man Confuses Sbarro Line for Trump Protest

Upon hearing the disappointing news of the election, Julian Friedl, a freshman at Santa Monica Community College, was extremely eager to take to the streets and voice his frustrations amongst other protesters. Last Saturday, he traveled to what he called…

Trump Mad Libs

Donald Trump Mad Lib

A new game that’s fun for the whole family. It’s only January, and the 2016 election has already been filled with all kinds of exciting speeches given by charismatic, unexpected front runner(s). Now you and your family can have hours…

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Jim Webb Proclaims June National Jim Webb Awareness Month

BURKE, VIRGINIA— Late last month, Jim Webb met with a tight-knit group of Vietnam Veterans in a small bunker (built with his own two hands using American timber) in his backyard to discuss his performance during the Democratic debate.  The…

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Why We Should Elect Another White Male President

I am a feminist. I am a liberal. I do not believe in the gender binary. I do, however, believe that the United States should elect a white male as president in 2016. Breaking through glass ceilings takes time, time…