Tag: white house

Trump’s New Lawyer Shits in Oval Office, Is a Dog

WASHINGTON D.C.- In the wake of major unrest in the Republican-controlled Senate and in response to Robert Mueller’s ongoing investigation of the President’s dealings with Russia, Donald Trump has appointed a new lawyer to join his staff. While a change…

White House Requests Screening Of 1996 Film ‘Kazaam’

Washington, DC– On Wednesday it was reported that the White House requested a personal screening of the 1996 film Kazaam. The children’s comedy stars Shaquille O’Neil as Kazaam, a five thousand year old genie discovered in a boombox who grants…

White House Press Room Podium Replaced With Bush

Washington―In the latest shake-up the Trump administration has made to the White House, Sean Spicer has decided to replace the historic podium in the press room with a bush. The decision comes after the suspicious timing of the firing of…

Students Refuse To Shut Up About Shutdown

LOS ANGELES—Thousands of UCLA students poured into Bruin Plaza on Saturday morning to mistakenly celebrate the imminent reopening of the Government. Chants of “Obamacare rocks” and “fuck those Cal bastards” mingled among the confused sighs of students who joined the…