After Telling All Her Friends She Would End It With Spain, Catalonia Opts For Marriage Counseling

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WASHINGTON, DC — Catalonia, having reached the breaking point in her marriage with Spain, decided that she wanted out. Or at least, that’s what she went around telling her friends all around the world.

Spain, “an abusive husband,” according to Catalonia, sent national police to stop the vote. According to Secretary General Antonio Guterres, this is “the equivalent to stealing the car so your wife cannot visit the divorce attorney”.  

Catalonia spent the weekend upstate at her parents’ house. Writing in her diary, Catalonia hoped, “to return home and put an end to the union once and for all”.  Spain, received a leaked photo of the diary entry from Germany, with the note, “Don’t let her go. I will never forgive myself for letting England go”.  

Upon Catalonia’s return, Spain apologized for everything, from, “…the mistreatment, to the theft and violence”.  While vowing  to change, Spain was a bit hypocritical, threatening violence once more if Catalonia tried to leave.

Catalonia, reportedly, froze.  She agreed to try counseling instead.

In the end Catalonia remarked, “I think it might really be different this time.  Spain seemed like he was ready to change.  I know he claimed that before, but this time seems somehow… different.”  She then added, “Marriages take work,” as she fought back tears of defeat and stagnation.


Art by Marisa Magna

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