UCLA Philosophy Department Hires Jaden Smith

WESTWOOD— UCLA announced earlier today that musician, actor, and intellectual Jaden Smith will be appointed as a philosophy professor.

“We are incredibly excited to welcome Jaden to the faculty,” said Gavin Lawrence, the Chair of UCLA’s Philosophy Department. “Jaden represents the intersection of technology and philosophy, and his addition to the department marks a historic step toward educational modernization for UCLA.”

The objective of Jaden’s class will be to dissect and understand two of his most influential tweets.

Weeks one through five of the course will address “How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real”, and weeks six through ten will focus on “Unawareness Is The Only Sin, And If You Were Aware You Would Know”.

An examination of his preliminary syllabus reveals that students will be required to keep all assignments under 140 characters, and capitalize the first letter of every word.

“In West LA, he was born and raised. Honestly, the Grove is where he spent most of his days. We are just so proud of him for expanding his cultural horizons,” said Smith’s father, Will, in an exclusive Daily Ruin interview with the family.

During the interview, Jaden’s sister Willow Smith sat sullenly in the corner of the room, occasionally shaking her head back and forth, back and forth.

Though Jaden declined to comment on his upcoming class, he retweeted one of his deepest tweets of 2014 minutes after being interviewed.

“To The Artist Of This Coming Generation And Of The Renaissance. The People That Truly Understand Your Art Are The People Who Don’t Comment”.♦

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