Westwood Police Embarrassed After Showing Up To Undie Run In Full Riot Gear

Photo by Gage Nguyen

“It was definitely a bust. And I don’t mean the drug kind.” Photo by Gage Nguyen

WESTWOOD—Earlier tonight in a terrible miscommunication blunder, the Westwood Police Department arrived to UCLA’s Undie Run late and in full riot gear. As the name would suggest, the Undie Run is a quarterly tradition in which students dress down to their underwear and run around campus. In an attempt to promote open public relations with local college students, the Westwood Police decided it would be a good idea to join in on the Finals Week festivities.

“We honestly just wanted to be part of the fun,” said Nik Bergum, Westwood Chief of Police. “I’ve always wanted to do the run, and we all thought it would be a good way to share an experience with the community. You can’t imagine how embarrassing it felt when we showed up not only an hour late but also in totally wrong attire. This is almost as bad as that one time one of our police officers drunkenly tried to crash a party and ended up rolling it after he wasn’t allowed in. Definitely not chill.”

The police, who were dressed in full riot gear, including shields and tear gas, looked extremely out of place.

“It was pretty lame,” said Josh Lashigan, one of the participants from the run. “I live two hours away from UCLA, and I drive down here every quarter for this run so I can scope all the attractive freshmen chicks in their underwear. It really brings me back to my college days. Or at least I assume it would, had I gone to college. Anyway, like I was saying, wearing full gear like that was totally not in the spirit of things. I’m sure there are totally some hot cops in the Westwood police department, but I had no way of checking them out with all that stuff on. Definitely not cool.”

Police officers hung around Landfair for a few minutes but eventually left after unsuccessfully attempting to start a game of “Rage Cage”. ♦

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