The Westwood Village neighborhood is one of the most densely populated areas in LA. It’s populated exclusively by children slowly learning how to be less terrible. As a result, Westwood gets some pretty rad garbage piles. We at Satyr consider ourselves connoisseurs of these garbage piles, and have ranked them for you based on smell, location, and contents. There were so many garbage piles to choose from, and we wish we could have included all of them, but we only had room for the best of the best.
5. Kelton and Strathmore
This beauty piles up right across the street from the construction sight. Some notable features include: abandoned wood planks, stray nails, and discarded yogurt containers. There was briefly a toilet here before it disappeared.
We can only hope that someone grabbed that free toilet. This pile could have scored higher if it committed more to its smell.
2.5 out of 5 cockroaches your landlord says don’t exist
4. Outside Treehouse
This trash pile is unique for two reasons: its smell and abundance of pizza boxes. How many pizza boxes can one apartment complex go through in a week? Apparently 63. The other fun
aspect of this garbage pile is that it technically starts out at the beginning of the week as a dumpster, although the dumpster is then quickly consumed by garbage.
3 out of 5 cockroaches your landlord says don’t exist
3. Giant empty lot between Sig Nu and Phi Psi
This garbage pile makes a statement. It pulls no punches. It not only has a “mysterious trash liquid” that has formed a little lake, but that lake then spills out onto the nearby sidewalk. Some of our favorite features include the ladder from a swimming pool and four separate destroyed tables. This pile also gets points for its collaboration, sometimes combining with honorable mention winner “Garbage pile in front of SAE”. We can’t give this pile more than a 3.4 though because while it’s enthusiasm is obvious, it lacks originality.
3.4 out of 5 cockroaches your landlord says don’t exist
2. The lone Mattress on Midvale and Levering
Nothing brightens you day quite like walking past one discarded and forgotten mattress on a patch of grass. It looks pretty clean despite how damp it is. This pile is full of surprises! Sometimes there is a man sleeping on the mattress.This pile gets high points for its simplicity. It doesn’t overthink it too much. It also has complimentary piles all over Westwood like “lone mattress on Strathmore and Landfair” and “lone mattress on Beta’s lawn”.
4 out of 5 cockroaches your landlord says don’t exist
1. My Ex Boyfriend Josh
This one’s hard to track down as it migrates all over Westwood. Generally though it can be found anywhere there is a high concentration of women that it’s not in a relationship with. Like the Treehouse garbage pile, it also has a uniquely unpleasant smell, Axe.
5 out of 5 cockroaches your landlord says don’t exist