LOS ANGELES — Yesterday, 24-year-old introvert Meredith Bowen made the decision that she wouldn’t succumb to the pressure to make small talk during her haircut. Instead, Bowen contently sat through her hair appointment in complete and utter silence, entirely ignoring questions from her chatty hair stylist.
Reports estimate that Bowen was asked about her summer vacation plans twice, her job once, and her nonexistent love life at least three times. Bowen responded to these questions with a closed mouth and resting bitch face; she didn’t even dignify them with short, one-word answers.
The silence was to the dismay of her bubbly, vivacious hair stylist, Whitney Russell. At first, Russell barely detected Bowen’s silence over the sound of her own voice. However, once Russell noticed the lack of noise coming from Bowen’s mouth, she was appalled. Silence is a rare occurrence in Russell’s life; she recalls “it” happened once after she told her ex-husband that she had been sleeping with his therapist.
Bowen said she found the appointment to be very productive; she got through her Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat feeds. Bowen even had the time and leisure to reply to a check-in email from her grandmother, which she “had been meaning to get to.”
Bowen’s revolutionary experience has inspired others to step forward and sit through their appointments in silence. Since the introvert uprising, an online Twitter campaign has been started by extroverts, who fearlessly and loudly defend the chatty hair stylists with their Hillary-inspired hashtag #imwiththem. Bowen’s supporters wanted to start an introvert movement in response, however they all “had other plans” that kept them from meeting up. ♦